HIJAB: Reality Check!

I have learned from my teachers that Allah SWT uses people for his ultimate purpose and sometimes he sends them to our life to give us reminders. I find these reminders as a blessing. Yesterday, I received a nice reminder on my FB wall. Thanks!

We have a saying in my culture that says, "You can't be friends with God and the Devil at the same time" By this I mean that you have to pick a side. I picked my side when I made the choice of converting/reverting to Islam. At some point in your life, you are going to have to. We don't live forever. 

So, how does this relate to hijab. Well, when I converted/reverted, I was in it for all or why even convert/revert and do as I used to. I am not good at fooling myself. Well, maybe sometimes. With taking up everything, at least trying, hijab was not an exception. I have been through my phases, fell down, picked myself up again, but am not giving up. No one explained to me what is hijab to be honest. I learned it along my way and am still learning it and correcting myself, but the more I felt people were shoving donts and dos down my throat, the more I wanted to back away from it. I don't like this approach. Nor anyone was handing me options of what to wear. My ignorance picked it up from what I seen in my surroundings. And, we all know people are not always right. Right? Maybe it was the way they said it or maybe it was so foreign to me that it scared me. So, I would take time out and try to learn by reading up on it, but sort of ended up at the beginning and with the questions of How do I start? I can't wear an abaya to work, or what about my family?

In my journey of studies I am learning that there is alot more to Fiqh then what we students of knowledge hear and read. My Fiqh teach told me that scholars only share information that is relative to us and capable of comprehending. I can definitely see that work because there are certain things that go way beyond my scope of understanding. This is the reason why we have to seek a learned person(by the way a person in your area not Sheikh Google because they have to have a true understanding of your enviroment.) in the Islamic Sciences for our matters because what we don't know is that we have to take into consideration our situation and circumstances and this is not given in general lectures. This also brings up the fact that lecturers often just throw at us the general facts of hijab, but often forget to tell us the hijab guidelines around our mahrams and husband. For sometime I thought you had to wear an abaya and sleep with hijab infront of your husband. My next mistake was upon hearing from sisters that infront of your family and husband you can wear whatever you want. Well, I came to find out that is not true. Maybe around your husband you can, but not around your family. There are guidelines on how to dress infront of your mahrams too and how much of your aurah you can expose, which calls for a limited hijab. 

For specific situation like those living in countries where Islam is not the major religion or even situations where muslim parents don't want their daughters to dress in a certain way, if you apply something so general, it might not help and that is why we have these scholars to give us the next best possible choice. But, most importantly, we have seek knowledge ourselves to understand.

I don't know if someone told you, but there is an ultimate goal with hijab around your non-mahrams and mahrams, whether you like it or not. And, it is a command of Allah SWT. Otherwise, show me an ayat or hadith that says we don't have to wear it. But, I also know that for some of us, there is a journey for it. I also know that some of us just sort of wait until Allah SWT gives us a wake-up call. Sometimes that wake-up call is not a nice experience. It is better for you to stop yourself now and give yourself a reality check on your hijab, if you know about it. If you don't know about, it is time to learn about it.

Being clean and presentable is a big part of Islam, but putting that over our order from Allah SWT is something that can get us in trouble in this life and hereafter. Hijab indeed is a sign of Iman. You can still look fashionable and stylish, but infront of the proper people. There is a proper way to dress infront of people you can't marry, marriageable people and your husband. I wrote a small piece on very basic info on our 3 Closets here to help us get a better perspective.  And, this is a mercy from Allah SWT.

 I share with you a reminder of our ultimate goal in hijab around non-mahrams(people you can marry) because I think that is the most troublesome part of the hijab journey we have, and I pray that we both reach it. InshaAllah.

Virtures of Hijab

1. It is an act of obedience to Allah SWT and His Messenger
2. It is Tahara(pure) for your heart.

The Conditions of Hijab Around Non-Mahram

1. The clothing should be loose and should cover the entire body. This means all but the hands and face should be covered and one should not be able to see the lines of your contour as it is done with some fitted clothes. There is difference of opinion on covering the face, hands and feet.

2. The cloth the you cover your body with should be thick. Why? because it helps not reveal your body lines  when you move or when natural causes like the wind blow your way.

3. Not Transparent. Why? because hijab is not just about putting a cloth on your back. It is also about concealing what is beneath. 

4. Don't use perfume. Why? because perfume attract attention by letting a man know you have entered the room and also perfume arouses a man's desires at every level. If you still don't believe, take a quick look at Cosmopolitan Mag. Tons of studies there and guys spilling their guts out on how they get aroused by scents.

5. Your outer garment shouldn't call unnecessary attention. Our clothing should be at our most simplest in form and shape according to our environment. This also means that we should not wear clothes to show off or try to gain reputation.

6. Don't wear shoes that make unnecessary noises. Why? because it is another way to announce yourself to people including men. It is also proven by studies that men can identify a woman by the sound of the shoes. The point of hijab is to detract the attention of man from us and us from them unless for the uneccessary. And remember one thing always leads to the other. 

7. Eliminate your adorments. When being around non-mahrams the less is more in your akhira. Leave the jingly jewelry, and unecessary make-up at home. Again, this attracts unnecessary attention. Truly use the method of simplification. Isn't your natural beauty enough to worry about gaining attention?

8. Speech. Scholars agree that our voice is aurah. This means that we need to change our tone and approach when dealing with non-mahram men. Unecessary talk and laughter should be avoided. Walk in there like you mean business and walk out like you meant business. We should only deal with the necessary and then we should remove ourselves immediately. 

image credit: iblog2011

The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Whoever leaves valuable dress out of humility to Allah while he is able to afford it, Allah will call him before all of creation on the Day of Judgement so that he can choose whichever Hulal of faith he wishes to wear.” [Tirmidhi]

Click here for a further explanation of the hadith.

May Allah SWT make this journey easy upon both of us and gives us patience and reward of it.

This is a collective of my studies and lectures I listen, I am not a scholar or teacher just someone passing information and personal experience. What I said wrong is from me and what I said right is from Allah SWT.


  1. OMG I can't believe that you made the same experiences that I made and went into the same problems that I went into maybe not all of them but the most... I respect every single word that you said and I respect you that as a converted muslim you made your experiences by yourself, cause it is damn true what you're saying !!! especially the one with the magazine and the men... :D haha

    1. First, thank you for reading:D I truly appreciate your comment and taking the time to share and it makes me feel comfort to relate our experiences. It also gives me relief and makes me feel am not alone in this journey because sometimes I just ask, am I the only one who has to do this? LOL

  2. Wow thank you so much for writing this. I was always told that around mahram we can wear whatever we want but I see it as taboo to wear whatever around children yet along the whole mahram...


    1. Thank you stylishhijabi for taking time out to read my post:D Greatly appreciate. Under it is true that the more we learned, the more we realize we really didn't know much. There is always more too it. SubhanaAllah.

  3. Thanks for writing, I'm still trying to understand all of the whens wheres and whys. :0).(chere)

    1. Thank you for your time taken to read my post. You are very welcome Chere:D those whens, wheres and whys are good, am not sure if they will ever go away completely...lol..but I have come to learn all at its due time, we get our answers. Ok,I recently just found out that MashaAllah you recently converted/reverted. Congratz! Please make dua for me. If there is anything I can do or try to answer any questions, I would love to!

  4. Love that you always tell it like it is! Alhamdulillah and MashaAllah!! Keep up the good work :)

    1. Thanks Haute Muslimah for taking your time to read my post:D and thank you for you continued support:D

  5. Thank you for this post it is clear, well written and informative. Hopefully you will continue on bringing us insight and fashion. InshaAllah. chere towe

    1. well oh well,,, I did not realize I had read this recently. One of my late night reads. Those at 2am you sometimes forget about later on. Apparently I needed to read this again, for I had forgotten about the nail polish. Luckily I have not been wearing any lately. Yes I reverted in November 2011, and have been excited since. Thank you so much for all the information you make available. Love reading your blogs much better than magazines! Have a wonderful week. inshaAllah. cjt

  6. Did you write a kind of ''why I converted to Islaam'' article? I'd love to know your story :-)